We spent most of the winter trying to keep ourselves warm in the van. We did things like: drive to Mexico, drive to Florida seven hundred times, stay in ridiculous campgrounds with electricity (and meth labs) so we could run our heater. Well, those days are over, goddamn it. It’s summer. It’s our time, now. Or so we thought.

Turns out, not so much. We have the same problem, but in reverse. What had happened was…

We spent a week at the beach in Lewes, Delaware having fun with my family.  Except for the part when our dog, Frances, basically maimed my brother’s dog, Herman. It was terrible. We feel awful. I can’t even talk about it. He’s ok-ish now, though, and we’re pulling for him.

This is Frances looking harmless. She’s not. Any tips on what to do about her dog aggression are greatly appreciated. 

Despite the trauma of dog-on-dog violence, we had a great time with the family. This is where I would normally post some pictures, but we didn’t take any. This always happens. My family never takes pictures. Aside from my brother’s wedding pics, there are like 6 photos in the world of my immediate family. And we’re all wearing the same clothes because they were all taken on the same weird vacation. I’m smoking in one photo. I think my brother is playing a slot machine in another. Both of those pictures are displayed prominently at my mom’s house. Why? Slim pickings. That’s why.

Anyway, there was a ridiculous heatwave going on while we were in Delaware. This is a problem when you live in a van with a French Bulldog. French Bulldogs are very dramatic in the heat. Very. Especially Wembley. Yes, we have AC in the van when we’re plugged in, which is fantastic. But even with the AC running, we’re scared to leave them in the van unattended when it’s that hot. I mean, what if a fuse blows? Then they’re stuck in a sweltering metal box of death. So, yeah, now hot is our problem.

We (bravely) spent a day or two hosing Wembley down and pushing him around town in a stroller so we could visit as many of our friends in Lewes as possible. But with temps hovering around the 100 degreee mark, we had to call it.

We even camped for a night at the one and only CrossFIt Lewes. Thanks, Kris!!! We feel fitter already. And Tommy, I haven’t forgotten your infamous box jump move. I will pay you back someday.

We finally gave up on trying to keep Wembley alive. No, we didn’t kill him or sell him. Don’t be ridiculous. We got on the Cape May Lewes Ferry and headed North. We didn’t stop until we got to Newport, RI, where, by the way, the temperatures were so much more reasonable! Wembley perked right up. Plus, we ate these things called clamcakes (which are like big clam fritters fried in beef fat) that I think might only exist in Rhode Island. Amazing. I’m a fan.

Clamcakes from Aunt Carrie’s in Narragansett, RI. Jennifer has never looked so happy. 

We picked Newport because I’ve always wanted to see the gilded age mansions they have there (you know we love house tours, no?). Newport did not disappoint. We toured The Breakers, Marble House, and Rose Cliff in the  two days we were there and they were all phenomenal. Plus, we learned that we have a lot in common with the Vanderbilts and the Asters and all the other gilded age all-stars. They basically had homes all over the world and would just travel around constantly, following the seasons. They would build these outrageous homes all over the place and only spend a few weeks a year at each one. A peripatetic life is what they call it. That’s us, too! Peripatetic AF.

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Almost the exact same shot we took in front of the Vanderbilt’s other house.

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After Newport, we invited ourselves to driveway surf for a while at Jennifer’s mom’s house in Vermont. Very relaxing. Beautiful weather. Lots of hiking. Stellar wifi. A very necessary and fulfilling rest stop for us.

And, finally, we’re back in Maine. Posted up in Acadia National Park (again) where the temperatures are mostly in the high 70’s. We’re trying out all the different campgrounds in the park this time. Our new favorite is Schoodic, on the quiet side of the island. Very classy. Coincidentally, our friends from Cincinnatti were also visiting Acadia so we managed to intrude on their vacation in much the same way we’re always showing up at their house. Good times!

Great looking bunch. At Echo Lake Beach in Acadia.

Jennifer’s Game Face

So Maine.

Acadia. I think.

Moody Maine.

Happy Maine.

Wembley doing better. This little guy LOVES Maine.

Now, we’re hiking our butts off and trying to come up with a plan for how to spend the next few weeks. We’re thinking about heading up into Nova Scotia. We don’t really have anywhere to be until September. The only thing holding us back is that we need to be somewhere with really good wifi so we can stream the CrossFit games for like four days in a row during the first week of August. Because we’re dorks. Probably there is some technology that would allow us to do this (reliably, in Canada,) but we don’t know what that is. Because we’re not dorky enough. Anyone with ideas, please let us know.